Backup
I want a back up to my life
but I can’t find a download
anywhere, no program to give me
easy directions and a place to go.
It’s this fluidity in my head that
zaps the wires with static and
interference and gets things
garbled and out of place.
Your words are often so clear,
like a pristine start page till
they hit my programming which
is full of bugs and hesitancies.
I have memories stored on disks
I can no longer access, outdated
technologies, now dusty with disuse
yet I hunt for these fragments
and try over and over again
to retrieve them.
Is this day, which is all I can
easily connect to, really enough?
Is the present font OK?
I feel like I’m pin dancing, stuck
in this tiny space like a bird
tethered to a single tree
or like a url in a google search
which can’t be found, just a
ghost entry waiting to be
let go with a "
sorry this page
no longer exists tag
".
I want a backup to my life
before it and I vanish so maybe
I can find it again.
© Zen Oleary
May 29, 2004
